A column recently appeared in the local paper detailing the trials and tribulations of a waiter dealing with a table that came in at five minutes before closing at the end of a busy night. The service and food they received were of lesser quality than that they would have received if they had come in at a more convenient time. The column was very humorous and nothing was maliciously done to the diners or their food, but it made me think.

 Before I go into my monthly rant, I will admit that I have been known to throw a fit, as well as a sauté pan or a few baked potatoes when informed of late tables. Late diners are undoubtedly an annoyance but they are paying the same amount as those you cooked for a half hour ago, so you have to suck it up and do it. I started to wonder when the passion for cooking turns into “It’s just a job,” and the ideal of fulfilling a guest’s request becomes “You want me to do what and for whom?” My guess is that, on the shore, the transition occurs around July 5^th.

 So how does a chef balance the creative and artistic aspects of the profession, with business and customer demands?  Jack Daniel’s and a twelve pack is occasionally the answer. It is no wonder that the profession has a high rate of substance abuse. Another way is to adopt the mantra; “It is what it is,” and try to accept it and accede to the customer’s wish as best you can. Then, move on. After all, their patronage is paying your salary. Easier said than done.

 It takes a strong ego and a little arrogance to be a chef. It also takes an attitude that you (the chef) know the right combinations of taste, texture and eye appeal essential to making a dish successful. Then, a table is seated with folks who do not share your culinary “vision.” They order your special rack-of-lamb but they want it well done. “And hold the port wine, cherry sauce and the herbed goat-cheese polenta. Say? Don’t you have any of that nice mint jelly?”

 As the waiter is asking me this, my sous chef is looking for the defibrillator, as well as the mashed potatoes and the well-cooked carrots (patron code for mush). What is a chef to do? Please the guest and put out food they know is below their standards or tell the guest no, in which case, you have the wait-staff and restaurant managers/owners screaming at you? After many years fighting these battles, I concede more times than not. But I also learned a few tricks on the way. I never carry mint jelly (an aberration left from an era when gamey mutton was more common than lamb.)  My other compromise is to send the dish out as is and give the guest an alternate starch or vegetable choice. Sauce on the side is another option. When the request is unusually bizarre, or so destructive to the integrity of the dish, I beg one of the other cooks to make it and try not to cry in the other guests’ food.

 That is the eternal restaurant conflict: Servers trying to give guests exactly what they want versus chefs who feel their talent and knowledge for preparing food makes them experts on how and what diners should eat. What is the answer? Hell, if I knew that, I’d have a Nobel peace prize sitting on my desk. My best guess is compromise. Chefs try and accommodate reasonable requests (Side note: Asking for no anchovies in a Caesar dressing is not reasonable. Classic Caesar dressing is made with anchovies. Plus, restaurant dressings are made in large batches ahead of time) Diners trust your chefs. Their training and experience mean that they know what to cook, how to cook it properly, and the best way to present it.

 One last bit of persnickitiness. When you try a recipe, whether mine or another chef’s, follow the recipe. Don’t substitute graham cracker crumbs for bread crumbs or milk for heavy cream then complain that the recipe didn’t work. Try it as intended. If you feel the need to substitute ingredients, check the Joy of Cooking (great resource) or E-mail me. Remember, cooking is both an art and a science.

 This month, try these favorites; Scallop and Asparagus Salad and Chilean Sea Bass with Chowda Sauce.

 Until next month, bon appétit.